2014

It would seem as if I have taken quite the hiatus when it comes to blogging. Every time I wanted to sit down to post, I felt as if I had nothing to say. However, as I have reflected on the past year the opposite it true. There has been so much to share, just not enough brain space to put it all together into words. 

Last year at this time we had a bubbly little 16 month old and a baby bump to boot. We were also living in an 800 square foot house. Now, there is nothing wrong with this and we were very thankful to have a roof over our heads, I was just running out of ways to arrange and purge in order for our growing family to be comfortable. Also, we weren't in an ideal environment for a growing family. I had a repetative prayer for contentment, but also that the house would sell (we had been on and off the market for over a year).  

After arriving home from a fun Disney Cruise with my family in January, we had a nibble. It was a VERY low ball cash offer, but we didn't care. However, after a few weeks of going back and forth, we threw in the towel of any hope of the house selling. I was frustrated and willed myself to continue to brainstorm how we could make this space work for a family of four (or how we could rent it and move). 

A few days later, another showing was set for a different buyer. I begrudgingly loaded Henry up and left the house with little hopes that they would actually show the house (we had had many appointments and then they wouldn't even come in the house). We had an offer in writing later that night. 

It was another low ball offer, but we had been saving in preparation of this. There was a tremendous amount of guilt felt by me that they house I had bought was causing my husband to dip into the savings he had worked so hard to build. After doing some research, I learned that my teacher retirement fund was almost the exact amount of the lose we would take on the house. I quickly filled out paperwork to withdrawal the money. 

Some might see this as stupid, we saw it as an answer to prayer. 

We closed on the house and moved in with Chris' parents to recoperate and allow ourselves plenty of time to find something we loved. I quickly became sick of looking. My belly was growing and so was the stress. Along with the endless changes that were occuring, Henry and I were repetitively sick. We hardly ever were sick. 

Towards the middle of April we went to look at a house some friends had told us about. The couple who were selling had recently listed online just to see what would happen. I was reluctant to look, the house didn't meet my "criteria" but I trusted this friend. While on the tour, I broke down into tears in the master bathroom and asked our realtor if we could just give them a verbal offer then and there. The house met all of our needs perfectly and was less than we were thinking we would spend (the same amount we loss on the house and took out of retirement). 

We closed and moved into our house in the middle of May. I was almost 8 months pregnant, had no voice, a rib out of place from coughing, and was turning 30.  BUT, we had new carpet, new paint and new furniture.  Our first night was bliss. 

Six short weeks later, little boy Tucker arrived. He is a beaut and totally dreamy. Having two children is so much different than one. It took a long time for me to find how to balance attention between Henry and Tucker. The first three months were a lot of tears and frustration. Baby blues had a whole new meaning this time around.  But, we finally got into a routine and I also started allowing myself and my kids a lot of grace. Our day to day is messy and not perfect, but I am learning that is ok.  More to come on baby boy Tucker and I need to post several weekly updates (this entry has taken me five days to finish, blogging is hard ha!).

2014 was a little crazy and hazy. So much good occurred, so much stretching, lots of joy and sweet toddler and baby giggles. More than anything, our little family learned and continues to learn to live in the now. We dream of the future things (two kids not in diapers, building a house, paying off debt, vacations where people don't say you can't sit beside them on the plane because you have a baby... yes that really happened), but life is good right now. The pop in guests, the laughter around the table, the toys all over the floor, the dust bunnies in the corner, the money I save on make up because most days I don't wear any... 

So long 2014 and thanks for the sweet memories. 

19/52

Johnny Jump Up, getting stuck on your belly, trying cereal, and your first ear infection. You make life interesting bud. 

18/52

You celebrated your first Halloween as a football for your football player brother. Not the most original idea, but we've been surviving this month. You also are an expert roller now!  

17/52

Your smile has returned, however sleep has not, ha. Regardless, you enjoyed your first fall fest and were a big hit. Hard to imagine that next year you will be running around, screaming I'm sure. 

16/52

The stomach bag has hit our house and you it hit you the worse. A throwing up babe is no fun. Sleepless nights, lots of cuddles, and lots of prayers. You will always keep us on our toes. 

15/52

Oh my, you are beautiful. You laugh, you smile, you are just a sweet babe. You are starting to attempt to roll and Henry loves to cheer you on (aka push you over). It is a delight to watch you grow!

14/52

You have beautiful lips. Everyone always comments on your "perfect triangles".  Most of the time these lips are used for your loud talking or precious smiles. But, you can stick your bottom lip out like a boss. It's like it is your job to make a huge fit look amazinly adorable. (Note that this was taken while you are in your car seat. You still hate it. Which is lovely.)

13/52

Praise the Lord!!! Henry has really come around and is beginning to, dare I say, like you!!! He loves to go in with me to get you up in the morning and proclaims, "Good mornin Tucker!" He will snuggle up with you and watch his morning cartoon. He will show you toys (we are still working on sharing).  And he has requested hugs a few times. Counting these as huge successes towards your life long duty as best friends. 

12/52

You are goofy. Despite the frustration of no naps or wanting to be held ALL THE TIME, you can typically make me laugh pretty easily. You're all like, "Hey mom, don't be hatin... I love ya!"  I love you too little booger. 

11/52

I know this picture is fuzzy, but it makes me smile. Son, you are strong and loud. You have found your vocal cords and use them often. I love your little voice and pray you use it in great ways. 

10/52

In an attempt to try anything humanly possible to get you to nap, we have started wrapping you like a baby burrito. I know most sane parents do this from day one with their babes, but Henry always hated it, so logically we assumed you would also. Aren't all siblings identical?  You remind us daily that you are your own tiny little human self, which we adore. 

9/52

You live in your carrier at night. This is due to the fact that you hate the steoller and car seat. This pains your father and I because we love to go on evening walks. But, you prefer to be snuggled in tight and close. Oh child... You keep things interesting. 

8/52

You smile all over yourself. I love how you grin at everyone but reserve the really big ones for familiar faces. You are a charmer. 

7/52

Henry randomly gave you some loving this week. He doesn't always love sharing the attention, but we are getting there. You tolerate the shoves and screams well. 

6/52

You are precious at bedtime. Right before you fall asleep, you give this goofy grin that just melts me. It doesn't matter how hard the day has been, that smile makes it all go away. 

5/52

A little late, but what else is new...

You have an awesome older brother. He's pretty much the bomb diggity in my eyes (except for when he doesn't nap). I pray every night that the two of you grow to be great pals. That each of you can be an example to each other. That you are leaders in your own way and strong yet humble men. 

I also pray that the day will come when Henry doesn't throw things at you... But we are working on that :)

4/52

You are a growing fool! I easily forgot how much babies grow during the first few weeks. It is hard to believe these tiny little feet will one day be the stinky culprits that I smell around the house. I wish I could bottle up your sweet baby smell to whiff during those times :)

Fearless

Oh my sweet Henry. I've been thinking of words I would use to describe you and today fearless stood out loud and clear. We went to the park today and you immediately ventured over to the pond's edge to "see ducks".  

A nice gentleman shared a piece of bread with you to feed the ducks and geese.  After one throw you hurriedly gave me the bread and exclaimed, "you throw momma."  I feared we were headed towards a little break down. But, within minutes you were chasing geese and had your toes so close to the edge I was holding onto your shirt in fear. 

You are all boy. You climb, run, slide and knock things over with the best of the best. However, you still look back at your dad or I to make sure we are there. Bud, your cheering section is right behind you. Go on and be your fearless self. 

3/52

We are still trying to figure out this whole two kid thing. Henry went from a go go go kid to being forced to slow down a little. I know the day will soon come when you are both running around and I am doing my best to keep up. For now, we will enjoy sitting outside with your brother "goes wimming" and squirts you with water from his fire hose.  You two are going to be awesome together. 

2/52

You officially no longer look like your brother. You look like Tucker. I cannot wait to get to know you more. 

1/52

I saw on a fun blog that a mom did a photo a week on her blog of her little boy. I have a friend who did a photo a day, I am not that with it ha! So a photo a week seems manageable. Henry turns two in two weeks so hope to start the once a week with him as well. 

This was our first day home, July 4. We were both pretty exhausted and collapsed on the floor. I'm sure I was teary and emotional and thinking how the heck am I going to do this?!  Thankfully you don't know any better, so I guess we will all just figure it out together. Ha

Dear Tucker Scott B.,

I haven't blogged in forever. I miss it. I miss how I can freeze little memories about our little family and keep them tucked away to read later. Hopefully you will be a little motivation to get with the game again. We shall see. 

We welcomed you to the fam on July 3 at 12:17pm. After a scheduled induction (that was kind of a surprise), we checked in to the hospital at 7:30 and in no time you were in our arms. I almost didn't get an epidural and I think I was a little crazed. But, we made it. 

You weighed in at a healthy 8 pounds 14 ounces and were a lengthy 20 inches long. The whole experience was surreal and before I knew it, I was back in new born land. 

We were able to go home on the 4th. I'm not sure if I was totally ready, but your dad was chomping at the bit. Henry was able to stay with grandparents the first two nights so we were able to spend some quality time together. You are a pretty little baby and we love you so much. 

Speaking of Henry... He isn't all the way sold on you yet. He misses being able to "go" and will tug at you if I am holding you too long. He will soon get that you are sticking around. :) He can be oh so sweet to you though. He loves to help wake you up in the morning and give you kisses before bed. Before too long, you will be chasing him throughout the house and there will be four little feet running rather than two. That melts my heart a little. 

I cannot wait to see what you bring to this little family. We've learned so much from your brother, I'm sure we will learn our fair shaker from you as well. We love you little Tuck Tuck. 

Love,

Your Momma